Sunday, February 16, 2014

...changling...

hi.

been a while, obviously.  

i've had thoughts of abandoning the blog.  life is busy and full of laundry, dinners, playing ghost busters, sledding, grocery shopping, story reading, sweeping, toilet cleaning, and of course, homework.  josh is finishing up his second year of pharmacy school, and i am silently sobbing because i'm freaking out about taking the gre so i can apply to a masters of social work program.

eep.

then we have harley, who is sassy, sweet, and full of four year old attitude.  he is a dream, like i've said so many times before, but he is also a handful.  he is four.  which means he knows everything, can make every annoying sound in the world, hates all the foods, and loves all the sugar.  

oh, and he loves me THIS much.  which allows me to toss all the aforementioned things into the trash and just focus on his adorable ginger hair.  

but i digress...

we are constantly changing, all of us, and some things remain with us through that change.  blogging has been a huge part of my life in the past, and has also brought me so much comfort, support, and best of all, friendships.  these friendships have lasted and will last and i'm thankful for the ability we have to find people who understand us, and who will buoy us up when things get hard.  i would be lost inside the sadness of loss and infertility if i didn't have all of you.

i've shared my joys, triumphs, pains, and failures on this little pieces of internet.  i wish to continue, although it will be less frequent as i adapt to the changes we are experiencing.  who knows, maybe i will be able to find the time, but it's not only time.  it's desire.  i do not feel like i'm as fluid with words these days, which means what i attempt to express comes out choppy and incoherent.  i don't know friends, something is happening and i can't put my finger on it.  i'm growing and stretching and it hurts.  

however, i know that eventually i'll come out comfortable in my changed skin.

hang in there with me.

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1 comment:

Lynne said...

I'm the same with the blogging. I want to pick it up again, but like you said, I can't make the words come out like I want to.

Lots of luck in your changing!

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