Friday, November 23, 2012

...paint my spirit gold...

i dare say that my annual thanksgiving post is my favorite, by far, to write. of course i should be the type of person who recognizes blessings daily, but i am a tad self centered. (i'm working on it) 

these days, more than ever, i am thankful for a loving heavenly father.  i confess that far too often i question his plan for me; for my little family. however, time and time again i'm shown, ever so gently, that he is aware.  that he hears me.  that he cares.  the gospel is something i've taken for granted my entire life.  it also isn't something i'm really, well, good at.  it has always and continues to be a daily battle for me.  gaining a bit of a testimony here and there.  having a bad day, losing a little bit, but gaining it back as i slowly soften my heart.  more than ever i see his hand through the individuals i meet.  if my sweet girls (the sister missionaries serving in my area) were not here, i would be even more of a hot mess.  they have been so patient and kind, challenging me to read the book of mormon cover to cover.  (i'm really a slacker) to study it and know for myself of it's truthfulness. challenging me to pray.  asking me to give the gospel the benefit of the doubt when my first instinct is to cast it aside.  as i've taken them up on the challenge to read the book of mormon, i've come to gain knowledge daily, and to know that it's true.  i've been able (whereas i haven't before) to liken them to myself and to my life.  i'm catching on to principles i've never even noticed before.  i'm finding answers to long asked questions.  i'm finding faith.  i'm finding hope.  i'm finding happiness. 

this is the first thanksgiving i've spent away from home in my entire 27  years of living.  i am deeply thankful for such an amazing family.  my mom flew in late last night to spend thanksgiving with me, studly, boog (and of course our sister missionaries)  when i saw her walking out of the terminal at the airport, my eyes filled with tears.  three months might not seem like a long time, but to me?  it was a whole lifetime.  of course i'm sad that my dad, siblings, their spouses, and my nephew couldn't tag along, but having my mom here is like having a piece of home.  i am blessed to have two younger sisters (who happened to marry strapping menfolk) that are always checking in on me, telling me they love me, that i can totally handle this new life so far away from where i feel comfortable.  i am blessed to have a younger brother who takes care of my family for me (i'm the eldest, it should be my job!) and is such a trooper when it comes to putting up with me. i have an amazing aunt and uncle who live only a little over an hour away from us here in ohio.  within the first couple days of our arrival we were whisked away to the lake for a boating trip.  spoiled rotten, taken care of, and shown that we aren't alone here.  add in amazing parent's in law who have been essential to our move, and an awesome brother/sister in law who have sent endless encouraging notes, packages, and selfless gifts.  i am blessed to love and be loved.  

my sweet husband is an amazing man and one that i do not deserve.  he sees the best in me when i'm at my worst, and that alone deserves praise.  he is the rock in this marriage.  i am standing because he has faith that i can survive this life.  to be completely honest, i'm taken aback that he is beside me every morning.  it's not because he's, 'just a good guy.'  he loves me.  all of me and my hot mess.  this is not an easy task.  

my son, how life wouldn't be complete without him.  as we sat around the table at dinner, we each took a moment to express what we were thankful for.  i expressed my gratitude for sadie, boog's birth mom.  of course i'm thankful for boog, for adoption, for everything it has given me, but it all started with sadie.  with out her, none of this would have been possible.  i love my kiddo so deeply, and that love does not stop with him.  i'm a mother because sadie chose me to be one.  i have a son!  I HAVE A SON!  because of her.  a beautiful, kind, loving, compassionate, charismatic son who is a healing balm to my soul.  

how could i possibly live this life without amazing friends?  all of you!  it overwhelms me daily how blessed i am to know each and every one of you darling individuals.  you continually lift my spirits, offer advice, comfort, kindness, compassion, prayers, hope, faith, strength and most importantly, LOVE.  my oh my, how lucky i am, indeed!  there is a reason we are all here on this earth together.  we need each other.  friendship is essential to a happy life.  these relationships will be cherished by me for all of my days.  i love you, my sweet friends.  

i mention this one every year, and even though i'm a little fed up with it, i can't leave it out.  modern medicine is such an amazing gift to us all.  sure, most of the time i complain about it, but let's be honest, i would be dead right now if we didn't have skilled physicians, surgeons, scientists, etc. the lord has inspired and continues to inspire individuals and it blesses our lives exponentially.  

this life is a good life, truly blessed with so much more than i could ever express.  i don't deserve any of it, but i'm deeply thankful.  

so. very. thankful.


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