***i have never written something like this about boog, or addressed a blog post to boog before.
however, these are things i want his birth families to know.
i want them to see how much he is growing, how amazing this little guy is, and how much i love him.***
hey little man,
let's first establish that you are, indeed, a little man. in the past 15 months i have watched your sweet, round, baby face melt away to that of a little boy. i almost don't remember you as the baby we brought home just a short time ago. you are your own person, full of personality, full of light. your presence in our lives have brought us nothing but joy. okay, and a few headaches, but we still love you.
i remember when you took your first steps, and would you believe it, you haven't slowed down since. you don't walk anywhere. you run. you hop. you jump. i am pretty sure there is a term for it, but we'll call it, 'walking with style,' and boy, you are fast. five seconds is enough time for you to run to the table, scale the chairs, scoot up on top and dive into that bowl of m&m's. you'd think i would learn, but i never take them off the table. maybe secretly i like seeing your face, covered with chocolate and beaming with pride, because you accomplished your goal. in fact, i'm positive most of your goals end with chocolate. seems to me you are your father's son. he never tires of hearing that.
back in august we were worried about your speech. we hadn't heard you say more than a few words, so we had you evaluated and found out you were a little bit delayed with your speech. i admit i was worried, and almost afraid to tell anyone because i felt it would show failure on my part. however, you showed us all, as in only a few months you went from five words to over fifty. you speak in sentences and it blows me away. just the other day you came up to me and said, 'come on mamma...' i followed and you pointed to the ipad. 'i need to dance. more music please.' i turned up some michael jackson and you dropped it like it was hot. for a ginger kid you have some pretty good moves. music has been a part of your life from the start, as your birth mother is so very gifted at singing and playing the piano. we promised her we would incorporate music as much as we could into your life, and you've made it easy. without even realizing it, we taught you how to sing part of, 'bohemian rhapsody' by queen. it's painfully adorable and i basically want to eat you up after each performance. your current favorites are anything by jon schmidt & steven sharp nelson, michael jackson, and patrick stump. i love watching your eyes light up when you hear the cello, or how you pretend to play the piano almost daily. i love seeing these little pieces of sadie in you.
would you believe you are sleeping in an actual bed now? as your dad put it together, i held back tears. you were so excited to be, 'a big boy mamma. in my big ol' bed!' (that's a thing with you as of late, everything isn't just, 'big' it's, 'big ol' and it's hilarious) you are excited to read scriptures every night, and even say night time prayers all by yourself. i did not give you permission to grow up, and i tell you daily to stop. of course you don't listen. you are stubborn and sassy (which is from me, but it's much cuter in you) and have to do things your way. lately you tell me, 'mamma, i can do it.' no one told me how hard it was going to be to start letting go of even the little things. you want to comb your own hair, put on your own clothes, wash yourself in the tub. basically you will be ready to move out this summer. just remember this, i demand you use baby wash until i tell you to stop. i can't imagine life without smelling your sweet, clean head after bath time.
harley, you have the sweetest soul and i hope i am able to cultivate your life around the remarkable traits you came to us with. if i'm having a bad day, or daddy seems tired, you always make sure to pull our faces down to yours and give us loves. often times you will rub my arm and say, 'lub you mamma', as you snuggle your adorable face into my arms. oh, and what's with the, 'i don't think i need to snuggle' anymore business? you best be getting over that. i have no issues forcing you to cuddle with me.
so, you hate babies. like, for real. at first it was kinda cute because what mom doesn't want their kid to feel a little jealous? when your cousin comes over every day, you growl at him and protect me from his evil doing. you even take it out on your aunt kirstie, because she is his mom and it's obviously her fault he is around. (totally kidding, sister) once you tried to launch him out of his bouncy seat. there was also a time you came unglued at your cousin, cooper, when he was playing with, 'your daddy.' when we see other babies while we are out, you growl. what are we going to do with you?
you aren't much of a tv watcher, but you will sit down for some, 'team umizoomi'. thank you, dear boy, for choosing something other than, 'yo gabba gabba.' i have all those songs memorized. you love to count, say your abc's (although 'q' is always missing...), and find things are in the shape of a circle. specifically balls. oh child, how you love to play with your soccer ball/foot ball/basket ball/bouncy ball. naturally your dad bought you a champ bailey jersey, oh, and you of course have a denver bronco's helmet. you run around in this getup screaming, 'TOUCHDOWN!' you love to, 'pass, shoot, and slam dunk!' on your basket ball hoop. let's be honest, you are a little short, but i'm really looking forward to watching you develop talent and skill in sports. actually, i have a secret wish that you will be a base ball pitcher. you are a south paw!
i seem to have passed on my slight addiction to coke. okay, so i do give you a few sips now and then, but you have dubbed every sippy cup to be, 'your coke.' in fact, you tell me daily, 'mamma i need coke, okay?' i hate to break it to you, but your sippy only has apple juice in it. bummer, dude. you love ketchup, and will use any other food items as a shovel for said ketchup. it apparently goes with cheetos, doritos, cheese...the list goes on and on. in fact, you also love salsa with your chips and quesadillas as well as the dressing from cafe rio. spicey doesn't seem to phase you. while you were a picky eater at the beginning, you have started to branch out and will try mostly anything. then again, some days all you want is hot dogs, and that is a battle i'm willing to concede on. whatever makes you happy, kiddo.
it seems i have instilled in you a love for cleaning, which i hope doesn't ever go away. right now you think it's fun to help me dust, vacuum and put dishes in the dish washer. when you are in the tub you will tell me, 'clean up walls, mamma' as you scrub the shower walls with your wash cloth. you have even decided that a tooth brush is a cleaning tool for everything. seems you have watched me deep clean the bathroom one too many times. speaking of the tooth brush, you've had two cavities filled already. seems you may have inherited that from me as well. i'm doing everything in my power to keep those shark teeth clean. there are lots of things i never want you to experience, and a root canal is one of them.
when it comes down to it, my little man, you are a healthy, happy, vibrant little boy. full of tenacity, determination, and passion for life. it has been such a miracle and an honor to be your mother, to watch you grow and learn. there isn't a doubt in my mind that you weren't meant for me. my love for you grows daily, to the point where i'm positive my heart will explode. yet, it doesn't. i never thought my heart would mend and be able to have the capacities to love a child. you have proven me wrong, and i'm so happy you have.
i love you, your dad loves you, our families love you, and your birth families love you.
this basically means you are one of the most loved boys to ever have lived.
thank you for teaching me how joyful life can be.
mamma.
